Some haiku I wrote after returning from a walk.

Empty coffee cup
Abandoned on the sidewalk
Used up, and tossed out

Many pairs of shoes
Intrinsically animate
But still not alive

Familiar streetlight
Unlit and useless until
Twilight steals in

Silly little boy
Ice cream precariously
Balanced in his hand

A destination
Much more precious than its end
Because windows glow

i wish i wasn’t made of glass
Or that people could tell when i shatter, so they’d talk
gently while i try to fix myself
Maybe they’d even help me
Maybe You would
i wish i’d been smart enough to guard my heart from You
After You broke it again, and again
But You’ve always had a permanent hold
on me
i wish i could care as little about You as You do for me,

The blank white page
conjures fear and terror
and the words comfort.
We have questions
with answers buried
beneath truths
contained in the black.
It engulfs and enfolds and encloses.
I emerge
unharmed and transformed and hated.

Destroying boundaries
that have been built with sweat and devolution
will result in death.

With the moon on my tongue, I
taste bitterness and rejection.

The shadow of night washed over me
and I realized I had never before looked properly at darkness.
Not with my eyes, in any case.
There is something cleaner in the darkness than in the light;
Something... unstained by the light of day.

The lights of the city, however, broke my conscious dream
as I glanced back towards it and wished it were gone.

Memories of walking hand in hand
They reappear without consent
And every word I whispered in your ear
Every desire I could repent
They sent shivers through your bones
And in your bones I gave you strength
The distance that we traveled seemed so far
Though, I know pain added length
And now I hang upon your walls
In the pictures that you slowly painted
Colors illuminated so vibrantly

Wretched sinners,
give unto me.
For fags are aplenty
and drugs are for free.
The niggers are rising,
the “sheenies, green” fed.
The “chinks” coming over,
the “A-rabs” are dead.
The US is falling
to a moral unwell
Faggots fighting for freedom,
please don't ask, don't tell.
The “Christians” are arguing
divide of church and of state.
My God believes in free will

The sun was shining brighter
The leaves blew and created melodies
The burden was always lighter
Nothing separated you from me
The truth was never found
But there were never any questions
And every time you looked around
You never saw your own reflection
Everybody had a heart
You never realized the pain
And when the clouds came rolling in
You ran and danced in the rain

I’m standing here with a gun in my hand and I don’t know why. There is no crowd in front of me and I know that I’m not going to die. But, deep inside the barrel is a stare that faces me. Am I a coward, heavy hearted and only looking for relief?

And how much time is spent alone
Questioning all that we can never control?
I sit in my head with the static on low
Drifting into a world that I will never know
Chasing the answers that don’t even exist
My heart beat is too heavy to hear what I’ve missed
I look behind me and all that I find
Is my shadow racing the thoughts in my mind
When the race has ended my answers are questioned

[A very strange, Allen Ginsburg meets Elizabeth Bishop type of poem. It's definitely different, which is why I think I like it so much.]

dark smiles reflected in the riviera waters.
moonlight mixes with the waves,
the firefly brightness of the night life behind us
leaving us in the wakes of cool shadows.

we love it here. on the fringes,
where our feet get wet and sandy—

As I walk by you, I make eye contact.
We start talking.

As I'm about to leave, you do something.
Something that shatters my soul, makes me cringe.

You smile.

At first, I'm happy.
But then it clouds over.

Suddenly, I feel different;
Feel thousands of things at once.

Like Pain.

The pain's cold like ice,
But it burns like flame.

I've slipped in a puddle of emotions,

Dive

One tentative step
Cut through the misty fog

The internal battle rages

“Why am I doing this?”
“It’s the only way out.”

I look forward,
See a circle of people.
In the middle, a young girl;
A wheelchair is on the ground near her,
It's been pushed over.
Everyone's screaming at her.
Laughing at her.
No one stops them.
No one cares.
She's trying hard to keep back her tears.
Then, someone speaks to me,
Tells me to join in.
I know that if I refuse they'll hurt me, too.
So I join their game.

I drove the coast with you
We looked outside and saw the moon
I looked at the moon; I looked in your eyes
They both showed me beauty
They both told me lies

I could feel it rising beneath me
The burning of lust that deceived me
I should’ve listened to my head
But my heart guided me instead
And now this fire is burning me
This fire is burning me

I walked across a bridge with you

Curiously waiting
Through these days of separating
Never knowing why I’m here
But drowning wild in the fear
Sometimes I like the sound
the world can make
When it all goes down
It all goes down just to come back up
And up there, I can’t get enough
Hallucinating, I am free
I separated you from me

Mysteries are golden
Driving me to break the mold