So today I finally came out to my friend Chelsea. She moved away about a year and a half ago,but we've kept in touch. Even though we're really good friends there was always this tension because she liked me and I knew, but was too much of a coward to ever address the issue.

Now I get it why old oasis users would come back and write here, even if they haven't for months or years even.. because I'm doing the exact same thing. I think it "centers" me. I need my fix maaan hehe.

So Sunday night I went to a drive-in movie theater with my sister K and her boyfriend S. Journey to the center of the Earth and The Dark Night were playing. Journey was better than I thought it would be, I had my hopes up for something amazing with Dark night but it wasn't as good as everyone said it was.

So I literally just got off the phone with my mom. She lives in MO and its about an 8 hour drive from my dads house. I miss her so much, when I decided to move to my dads I was on bad terms with my mom. That was in October. We had a really good conversation, it lasted for about half an hour when our usual ones last 5 minutes. She was at work at a job she hates; shes an accountant.

I started to paint the fence in front of my house yesturday. I get paid $7 an hour. I don't think I've ever tried to work so slow in my life. So far I've earned $42. I hope my dad doesn't cetch on that I'm working incredibably slow to get more money out of him...

Wow, I just read "Advice from Toblerone" in the Coming out section, and it made me cry; the part about his parents saying that it's not something that can be changed, and they'll all just have to live with it, that they're sorry they couldn't help the confusion more when he was younger, that they love him just as much if not more...

I came out to a dear friend of mine.
I met him over the internet; I've actually never spoken to him in real life. He's 6 years old than me, and I'm not sure of his sex, although he refers to himself as male. I know him only by his screen name, KirbY.
I met him on a forum my cousin introduced me to known as Keepy Alivey.

Me so far...

I'm not really sure what just happened. My parents seemed to take it okay, but I'm still not sure if they believe me. My mom says I don't have to feel like I need to decide. And I'm not sure they realize that I just...KNOW. My dad didn't say anything. I don't really know what they think. It's so confusing!

I'm confused tonight. I've sorta always known that I wasn't quite normal sexuality-wise, and I've been fine with that. I'm pretty sure that my family is accepting and as far as I know, none of them have any issues about sexuality. So, I always thought that coming out would be easy for me. I chose tonight, just cuz I think that'd be a good idea, and my best friend just came out to her parents.

I am angry with myself for being such a bitch with regard to walking; that is pretty much the only battle between mom and I, and well the fact that I am just generally lazy about things.

I wrote this mad long letter to my parents coming out as transsexual transmale FTM whatever whatever. I held back my emotions and refused to let myself feel anything at all when I sent it, because I was scared to feel much about it because I was so scared of what they were going to think.

Wow, it's been SO LONG since I posted on here! I'm sorry, guys. Forgive me?

Well my close friends were the first to find out.. Then I went on and broke the silence with my Mom..

At what point are you out of the closet? I am out to my mom, my brother and all my friends, but at the same time my dad and his wife who are like my 2nd family don't know although they definately suspect. Somehow I haven't been able to have the balls to tell them even though I have no problem telling anyone else. so I guess my question is: am i out or not?