I met Chris Walla

the ghost — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 19:42:58 -0500

Where oh where has my motivation for getting anything done gone? I started off this college year doing well academically....and techniqully I still am doing well.But I feel like if I don't start doing some work again soon that will not last.

get out of the rut

the ghost — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 18:10:31 -0500

There is a lot of stuff I want to do. I want to meet a whole new bunch of people at college, I want to go out and have fun student nights. I want to play my guitar and sing and be young.....is 23 even still young? I want to just enjoy life....I want to be happy... I want to be free.

Progressive lesbian

the ghost — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 10:40:09 -0500

If anyone has a cure for absolute crippling shyness please send it on this way! I feel like I need to write a journal to cleanse my mind a little bit...but at the same time I am trying not to over analyze things right now either.

still haven't found what I'm looking for

the ghost — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 13:48:44 -0500

What the hell is wrong with me? I stayed in bed until after 2 today. I should of been up at 8 for college. I skipped classes all day for no good reason. It's not something I would do usually. I am far too much of a nerd for that. I just feel so down and like nothing is ever going to be ok again. I don't even know if it has ever really been ok to start with though.

party party

the ghost — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 16:58:03 -0400

I am so so tired today. I went to the Halloween party last night that I mentioned in my previous journal. It was ok, I didn't hate it, but then I didn't think it was a particularly great night either. It was good to go out and socialise with people. It was also kind of interesting, as the topic of being gay and coming-out seemed to crop up a bit.

Something in the way

the ghost — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 20:58:48 -0400

Well things have been normal with my mam since Sunday, when I came-out to her. I have started to feel some relief since. I think initially I felt very awkward about it. But really there is no reason to really. She has just accpeted it so well.

So I came-out to my mam :(

the ghost — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 14:51:37 -0400

At what point is the relief meant to kick in when you have just told your mam you are gay? Because right now I am just not feeling it. I came-out to my mam today, under not the most ideal circumstances that I could have done it, and I must admit I feel quite shitty.

all in a week really

the ghost — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 14:56:33 -0400

What a week of... I'm not sure of what...sort of highs and lows I guess. The situation with my sister flared up again and was horribly upsetting.Then I took part in a student demonstration, and finally I attended an lgbt society meeting!!

..

the ghost — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 18:57:24 -0400

You know when you think you have a situation sorted out, but it actually turns out it was just tucked away waiting to rear its ugly head again? Yep thats pretty much how my day has been. The sister, the bro-in-law.....wtf is wrong with these people.Whe you have repeatedly told someone to get out of your life and they don't listen.What do you do?

It is a sort of fuck you

the ghost — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 17:00:27 -0400

I don't know why but my mother just seems to refuse to give me praise for anything I do well.She does however jump at the nearest opportunity to point out a fault.I don't know why at this point in my life I still on some level seek her approval, but I do.

just breath

the ghost — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 19:54:09 -0400

I feel like I can breath again today. It has been several weeks since I have had a break from that horrible tight feeling in my chest,like the world is closing in on me and I am running out of air.

lgb to the t

the ghost — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 18:54:27 -0400

My life is a little all over the place right now. I was actually thinking the other day that it doesn't even feel like my life anymore...everything seems a little bit surreal.

..

the ghost — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 18:56:38 -0400

*I just want to say thank you to Lol-taire and Neutrina for their comments in my last journal,they were very much appreciated.*

I'm not still feeling like I want to die. But I am still feeling very down and just not like myself. I suppose I haven't really documented very well what has been going on with me recently. I suppose it can be broken down into three seperate situations

.

the ghost — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 17:57:09 -0400

I would like to just go die. I am not thinking of carrying through any plans of killing myself. I just hate how things are right now and would appreciate a permanent escape from current situations.

in secrets and lies

the ghost — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 12:44:43 -0400

I feel a bit strange and like my life is in a weird place. It is in the process of changing but isn't quite there yet. I have come-out a little bit more, and started to get myself into the gay scene a little but more which is good. But on the other hand I still have friends and family who are completely unaware of my homo status and it makes me feel a bit weird.