We step into the garden
I’m heavy hearted and falling fast
So many things I’ve never seen
Are we here now? Is this my past?
The sun is showering our love
With energy that is unending
With you, I feel I’ve seen enough
With you, the answers are still pending
But I am shaking with such doubt
You hold me close to fight the tremor
Your body tangled up in mine
And I am trapped inside September
And now one year has slid so quickly
But still so slowly it has trapped me
It has made me cold and lonely
And here I’m left, the one and only
You promised me eternity
Eternally you’d care for me
But like the leaves in the garden that changed
Our love could not stay the same

Love is a word that I don’t know
A distant place that I can’t go
It’s passing by and I’m trying to hold it
But my hands are too weak to grasp and mold it
Into the beauty I thought it could be
Into a statue of just you and me
And all that I have is this notion
And all that I am is confused emotion

I analyze people and pictures and places
Pick them apart, they become empty spaces
And I am so rude and I am so cruel
Consumed by resentment, I allow it to rule
But I’m just a fool and I don’t want to see
That you were so strong and true and free
You trusted in me and I couldn’t accept it
And I’m trying to ignore that I’ve been affected

When I ran away from you all I needed was peace of mind
A slippery slope to help me float through the river that narrowly winds
But beside me was your shadow and below me was myself
And everything above me faded; faded into something else
So while I drifted through dirty water with empty thoughts that brought me shame
I tried to recognize our meaning, I tried to remember my own name
and as I struggled for a purpose to reach the surface of the stream
The current ripped and ravaged everything that my soul could redeem
I couldn't breathe in open air, I was drowning in your dream
Wishing to be all that you wanted, dying to give you everything

Where do we go when the eyes fall back?
When the heart is black with pain?
And the rain is filling up your cup
That’s been empty since you drank it up
And you need a second dose of medicine.

So you sit around a table with a label on your head
And everybody has the same excuse as you
You laugh your head off, you want to get off
Forget about the truth you thought you knew.

And now a miracle is walking through the door
And now you’re waking, but still dreaming of what’s in store
Your past is regrettable
The present is forgettable
And she’s memorable; she’s all you’ve waited for.

She reminds you of the way you used to be
Shining brighter than the night, her light is all you see
She’s on fire and you’re a flame
And you don’t even know her name
But its okay now, it’s okay
Because she stayed.

Our time is based on measurements
Shades of color that make no sense
The view is skewed and broken
Only selective words are spoken
We speak in a language of hate
And dream of love as if it’s fate
It seems everyone’s dreams are the same
Forgo all work and aspire fame
And who is to blame?
A mysterious question
Our choices lead us to the place we were destined.

sun setting slow and the leaves blowing faster
skin getting thick, lips are soaked with disaster
just an imposter composing a rapture
of beautiful lies holding strong with great stature
you are like a statue made of stone
and I'm just a loser getting stoned
post-pone the final let down, please
can't take this shaking in my knees
I need the breeze to carry me home
I need to get back to being alone.

Don't lose your faith so fast
because the weather changes slowly
you never see the final glow
until you've given up the fight
and the past is in the past
so don't go pray to something holy
you never really know
until you believe your dreams at night.

she let me taste her lips
but missed the context of my kiss.
and then I slipped beneath the sheets
and drown in my own self-defeat.
her eyes were glaring stares of desire
what my heart never did require.
yearning for love I could not receive,
her scent, all that my lungs could breathe.
deceiving me, triggering madness
far too much damage to access.

Memories of walking hand in hand
They reappear without consent
And every word I whispered in your ear
Every desire I could repent
They sent shivers through your bones
And in your bones I gave you strength
The distance that we traveled seemed so far
Though, I know pain added length
And now I hang upon your walls
In the pictures that you slowly painted
Colors illuminated so vibrantly
But, now that I’ve been gone, the vision is tainted...

The sun was shining brighter
The leaves blew and created melodies
The burden was always lighter
Nothing separated you from me
The truth was never found
But there were never any questions
And every time you looked around
You never saw your own reflection
Everybody had a heart
You never realized the pain
And when the clouds came rolling in
You ran and danced in the rain
Happiness was never challenged
By never being good enough
And every inch from home you traveled
Made your skin a little more tough
The love you felt was pure and true
And what felt good was always right
Thoughts of running in the fields
Was all I needed to sleep at night
And in your innocence you lived
With undending imagination
And suddenly one digit became two
And you were lost in translation

And how much time is spent alone
Questioning all that we can never control?
I sit in my head with the static on low
Drifting into a world that I will never know
Chasing the answers that don’t even exist
My heart beat is too heavy to hear what I’ve missed
I look behind me and all that I find
Is my shadow racing the thoughts in my mind
When the race has ended my answers are questioned
Could my worst enemy be my own reflection?
“I need new direction,” is all I can gasp
And alone I wake from my dream at last.

The blankest stares are hovering over me and I gasp for air to breathe
to seep inside these veins and not in vain to bring me what I need
And suddenly the memory of you and me is all I see
what could I be when it was for nothing?
and I believed we stood for something.
You reappear everywhere, your ghost is haunting me
I look behind and there you trail, inhaling my faith and taunting me
I struggle to feel your love again
yes, your love again.
Reciprocated but always jaded and then you faded in the end.
You can't pretend you've lost the moments because the truth is plain to see
You rub your eyes a thousand times but blind eyes never feel relief.
The sea, it swallows you and I but you come washed up with the tide
and I am drowning in the sorrow, there is nothing left to borrow
You've run away, you have been rescued
I never meant to shackle you down
My love was all that I could never give, And I'm no longer afraid now that you aren't around
The way this life works is still a mystery
our fear, it becomes our makeup
And once the final minutes count down, that's when we finally start to wake up.

Sinking beneath the sheets are the spirits that lie within us
Taking breaths between the words that creep and slip in between us
A silhouette is formed by shadows cast from the moon that carries the sky
It binds the broken light that creates night and tangles you and I
Within the darkness of a world that burdens all of us so deeply
The secret moments spent between you and I are celebrated briefly
And as the leaves blow sweetly a song that I have never heard
I reach within the light of night to find the answers that keep me assured
And in my glory of this night a story writes itself in words
A brand new life is being created; a broken heart is being cured

Curiously waiting
Through these days of separating
Never knowing why I’m here
But drowning wild in the fear
Sometimes I like the sound
the world can make
When it all goes down
It all goes down just to come back up
And up there, I can’t get enough
Hallucinating, I am free
I separated you from me

Mysteries are golden
Driving me to break the mold
And the life that I’ve been holding
Is slipping away as I get old
The darkest clouds come rolling in
And this is where I want to be
There is somewhere special I haven’t been
I want you to go there with me

I walked outside today
I woke, and awake, I saw the sky
There were no words that I could say
Pure freedom allowed me to get high
and I could die in that moment
and I would still be alive
I could die in that moment
and I would still be alive
But all I did was cry in that moment
and the tears came from my eyes
but something beneath the surface was weeping
I was releasing it from inside

The curtain crosses over the glass and blocks the sunlight from coming through
But your face was all I needed to keep the world outside subdued
The inside is now golden, panted with warmth, containing the cold
And drifting in-between the cracks of this window’s heavy mold
Inside our world, only a room, but still has become our entity
We drift inside one another, creating beauty endlessly
I’ve dreamt about this life I’m living in lives that have passed me by
The struggles found in nameless temptation have offered me truth I now can find
And in your eyes, the treasure lies, beneath the mask of a disease
We have all contracted the symptoms of wrath, and lust and greed.
Your eyes have offered me the meaning, behind the beating of the sun
And now the color of your energy is bleeding into one.