do i really need my ovaries? can't i just get rid of them. eh too expensive. then id prolly go into early menopause. not fun. whats worse: cramps or hot flashes? that is the question.

why is it that we can't have a volleyball group that meets more than once a week. i dont think it fulfills my addiction to volleyball to meet just the one time this week.

im also addicted to watching michael phelps go for his 8 golds in one olympics. i've never really cared to watch the olympics before. for some reason i feel the need this time. i was concerned i wasnt going to get home in time tonight. my patheticness.

tomorrow i have to get up early and its not for work. not fun.

i put on sun block and i still got burnt. stupid sun. well its not stupid. i guess i should've reapplied.

ok so i officially stopped caring about what i eat. i think its going to be easy mac for me for like a semester. then i'll switch to ramen noodle. id prolly do that but i get tired of eating the same thing over and over. i used to cook meals. no more. i think that was just a phase. im just too lazy. or lezzy. either way. doesnt make a difference.

does it make me shallow that i want to see this film?

omg so this week has been crazy. so i've seen three movies this week: but im a cheerleader, transformers and the dark knight (in imax no less : ). i liked all of them. the dark knight = amazingness. i think i was drooling after it was done. not really. or was i?

all i can say is i love beach volleyball : ) watching it on the olympics that is. not that i dont like playing it.

so this weekend i have this weird sort of freedom. my roommate is camping so i've kind of got the place to myself. on top of that, my parents are watching her dog since i work weekends. its kind of peaceful. just me and my cat, teddy. i haven't thought of anything really good to do with my small amount of freedom. id have a crazy party if i didnt have to get up early tomorrow. oh when did that ever stop me. just kidding. i enjoy my sleep. i did only get like 5 hours yesterday tho. i've thought about u know losing the clothes just to see what it would feel like but i dont think thats going to happen. im very conscious of my body even when no one's around. i'll think of something. i only have like less then 24 hours tho. the clock's a ticking.

ok so don't judge me. i know im mostly closeted. i just need to get something out. im tired of accidently going on dates with guys. the guy said it wasnt a date and then when he insisted on paying it kind of sealed the deal. i swear its not my fault. ok so i want to tell the guy. im just thinking of how would be the best way. i was thinking something shocking like showing him my sports illustrated swimsuit edition. that would be interesting to see his reaction at least. or i could just be "u know why im not interested in you? its because ur the wrong gender." i also have this huge collage i made from fashion mags of really pretty girls. i could be like "this is my fantasy:" and show him some examples on the internet. ok that one, no. just brainstorming.

that's all for now.

- i just started crying randomly during sisterhood of the traveling pants. so i think that its going to be that time of the month soon. i always get so emotional, its annoying.

-people keep smoking pot in the courtyard. its annoying because i hate the smell of pot. i wonder how they would react if i politely asked them to move fifty feet. lol.

-there's less than two weeks til another scarlett johannson movie comes out. i thought i was over that crush but prolly not. everytime. *exasperated sigh*

-i feel like i've been holding a lot of emotions in lately. its one of my tendencies sadly. i think i'm going to have to start writing in my journal again. its been a while but i'm sure that it will forgive me.

-i did a little bit of back to school shopping today. its not as fun as it used to be but i got some good stuff.

-i went to an icecream place yesterday with some friends. we kind of started discussing kissing and the fact that its weird that people like it and where did it come from. my response went something like this "well maybe when people were making babies and they were on top of eachother their lips touched and they realized they liked it." it kind of was a little awkward. i know that didnt exactly include gay people in that comment but thats because some people im friends with dont exactly know about the whole lesbian factor. that should be a show: the lesbian factor. i dont know what it would be about but im sure it would be good just because it had lesbians in it. can anyone say tangent?

am i the only one who sniffs their laundry after it comes out of the dryer? it just smells so good so i cant resist. i dont know what it is. i only bought the detergent that i did because i had a coupon.

today i went to the bar with my roommate and her workmates. we sometimes go on fridays. i kinda have a couple of people to talk to there but not too many. it works out. i kind of wonder if the waitresses there hate me because all i ever order is water. its not just a bar tho. its also part restaurant. im sure its annoying. oh well.

i might be going to a bonfire tomorrow. i enjoy them immensely but i have to work in the morning so i at least have to leave early. it might not even be happening so it'll be interesting to see.

im also going to hang out with my friends at an icecream shop tomorrow. always fun. anything involving icecream is fun. and my one friend is coming home for the weekend and i'll get to see her. very exciting.

i hope this didnt sound too pointless.

so i've decided chamomile tea and hot baths are just as good in the summer as they are in the winter. *sips* it was 85 degrees outside today too. oh well. it's the best way to end a day. tomorrow's beach day. YAY! i cant wait. i havent decided which bathing suit im wearing yet. i guess it'll depend on my mood tomorrow. i also might be going to the drive in to see the dark knight. i havent decided yet. i mean of course i want to. i just dont want to stay up that late. i still have to get up early on sunday. *pouts* i know im an old fogey. but yesterday i got 8 hours of sleep and it felt so good. it was beautiful. i was so much more refreshed. *happy face* ok i have to stop doing that. but anyways.
*happy thoughts*

omg i just finished blubbering after watching that youtube video with lion reuniting with its owners. this was the second time today. i saw it on the today show this morning then felt the need to watch it again tonight. idk what it is about it.

so today im really tired. im trying to get off my schedule of napping after work then going to bed at 1a. then getting up early, work, napping. i dont think its going to work tho. sadly.

i really wish i had more to write about but my life is boring. my highlight of the week will be hanging out with my friend b at starbucks. i might be able to make it to the beach after work on saturday. i'll be later than everyone else tho and i still have to get directions.

i really need to get out more.

well i was before but thats not the point. i kind of want to go see the movie "beverly hills chihuaha" just because it has pedro paramo in it from "imagine me and you." i dont know tho. i think she looked better as a brunette.

in other news, i am working nine days straight so i will probably be taking a lot of naps. im the queen of naps. i doubt i will have much of a social life this week. not that im usually a "social butterfly." that sounds kind of too girly for me anyways.

so i tried making stromboli today. storebought sauce and dough. it wasnt much of a challenge. it was pretty good. i think i put it in a little too long tho. i like my dough a little bit less brown. it wasnt burnt but it was too crunchy i guess.

i haven't seen the dark knight yet. i like to see movies with other people and it really just didnt work out. but i'll figure something out. hopefully i can go on tuesday since its cheaper.

todays the kind of day that makes me wonder about at what temperature does skin melt? i know its kind of disturbing if you think about it too much but im really hott and i dont care. i think i used the wrong spelling for hot. u can interpret it either way. it kind of sucks for the dog tho too. my roommate has a dog that i sometimes help out with. he's a siberian husky. i feel sorry for him. imagine having 2 inches of fur in 90 degree heat. ya. it sucks. and of course our pool is out of order at the moment. apparently something happened with the pipes or something like that. but its supposed to be working by friday. thats not helping me today tho. my car doesnt exactly have air conditioning and even when i roll the windows down its too hott to even cool me off at all. i hate humidity.

ok so this might be a bit of a jumble so if you follow this *two thumbs up.* i know thats lame. i cant think of anything better at the moment tho

so today i went to the mall. there were prettyful things there. i think i figured out why i hate shopping. i cant afford anything. which is why i buy things at goodwill.

i think the grassy part in the middle of our apartment buildings is becoming a hot spot for getting drunk and the like. idk why. im not really opposed to it im just wondering why i havent been invited yet.

so im reading this mystery right now. i've never really read a lot of mysteries so im kind of trying it on for size. i guess summer is a good time to switch gears. its not bad i just havent decided if i like it really. i guess i cant judge an author by a genre now can i.

the key west ads make me want to go there. i have been there. i never really noticed a large gay population but then again i was a freshmen in high school and it was family trip. idk if that explains why but i dont really care.

so i went blueberry picking today. i went strawberry picking last week. and no i will not get tired of smoothies. it was a little early for blueberries. they still work with the strawberries in my smoothies tho. thats really all that matters.

so i was reading cosmopolitan today in the grocery store. only for the cover story which just happened to be scarlett johanssen. : ) apparently she has a couple of movies that will be coming out this year. its kind of exciting. i did listen to her new album. i dont really know what to think about it yet. i might have to listen to it again. then maybe i'll review it. i know im weird.

i did watch 21 last night. liked it. kate bosworth was in it. made it all the better. she looked hott with short, straight hair. in case u were wondering.

ok i think i'll think of more random stuff later.

so today was interesting. i woke up early so i could go to church. i dont go often but i had signed up to play "special music" today. i was going to play this really great piece "moonlight sonata." you may have heard of it. but my accompanamist kind of backed out on me. so i ended up playing "morning has broken." no accompaniment. i was kind of sad. people still liked it tho. anyways. so later my mom and i went to the farmers market. which reminds me. i forgot the zuchinni at my parents' house. oh well. i'll get it tomorrow. so then later we went to a garage sale. its kind of a hobby for my mom and i to go to garage sales in the summer. i was looking at movies there because im kind of trying to increase my disney movie and romantic comedy vhs selection. im old school like that. so my mom was asking the lady if she had the lion king. and suddenly i felt something sharp in the bottom of my foot. i was barefoot because i didnt want to wear my church shoes because they hurt my feet. it turns out that i had stepped in glass. i drew blood but i didnt think it was a big deal. then i started bleeding all over. i had to ask the lady for a paper towel to wipe it all up while trying to hold a paper towel on my foot. it was bad.

i'll go back to the beginning. i met this guy at kroger. i obviously wasnt attracted to him. he asked for my number. i of course wasnt going to give it to him. so i said id ad him on myspace. i was trying to be nice. i feel bad turning guys down bc its not really their fault that they have no lesbiandar and im not out enough to tell them the truth. anyways. so i've been talking to him on aim. he of course asked me out and i was like "im not interested in being in a relationship" and he was nice and didnt ask me again. then he asked me whats my type and i got all pissed off at him. do you think i should just tell him? am i being stupid. the thing is. ok obviously u guys have prolly not seen my myspace page. lets just say there's tons of girls on there! its almost like people dont see it or something. idk. im just tired of guys asking me out. i know stupid. i know its my fault. ya so i went to claire's today. i saw these cute flip flops and this cool belt that had piano keys on them. i dont play the piano but i still liked them because im a band nerd. or at least i was one in high school.

so i just got back from costa rica yesterday. it was a long flight but i slept during most of it. it was funny. when i got to fort lauderdale (it wasn't a direct flight) i kept feeling the need to say gracias. it was almost like i forgot how to speak english. not really. i spoke english in costa rica just because there were so many people who spoke english at my school. not that thats a good excuse or anything.

so my luggage didn't make it to the airport with me. they sent it to me today tho.

so im at my parent's house doing laundry. i didnt have too much to do thankfully.

yesterday i got a haircut. it felt good. ecspecially since i hadnt had a shower yesterday since i was on an airplane all morning.

its funny. i was afraid i was going to forget how to drive when i came back. not really, but still.

so it seems like i will be switching to at&t. my mom says that it'll be cheaper. mostly bc my brother's girlfriend has at&t so they'll get to talk for free. im sad tho. all my friends have verizon. its a good thing i dont talk on the phone that much.

for some reason the internet isn't working at my apartment right now. comcast costumer service sucks too. everytime i try and talk to them it tells me that there is an abnormally long waiting time.

i can't wait to go swimming. i only went to the beach once in costa rica. it was really nice but there were a lot of rocks there so not much room to swim. i also got my flip flops stolen. at least i think they were stolen. i dont really know what happened to them.

ok so yesterday i went to a salsa club. it was a lot of fun. there were so many people on the dance floor. lets just say bumping into people was something that was unavoidable. it was so much fun tho. i did do a little salsa dancing with this guy who i had danced with in dance class who actually knows how to lead. ive been told by the dance teacher that i dont know how to follow. i dont really care tho. i think that the dance teacher here is good except for the fact that he wants everyone to dance exactly as he tells them to. oh well. it was fun tho. they had club music too which included american music of course. so i got home at like 130 in the morning. which isnt that bad. im not even very tired. all in all quite eventful.

for some reason i like reviewing things. ok so i downloaded the "metro station" album. its the band with that "shake it" song. i really like it. its kind of "dance pop" or something similar. their lyrics are kind of "shallow" but i still like them. they're very happy-sounding. so all i can say is "bleed it out" by linkin park is one of my favorite songs right now. i also like "fall for you" by secondhand serenade. the guy has a really good voice.

so the other day in class, people were talking about "homosexuals" (i hate that word. it's so formal. like we're a different species or something. *makes gagging motion*). so the topic was homosexuals and having children. the two people who actually were getting into the discussion were saying how they thought that somehow children of gay couples would have a harder time. they were talking about how they would be teased or whatever. of course this was in spanish so i might have missed something. but anyways. i guess i don't know anyone that is the child of a gay couple. i just feel like it wouldn't be that horrible for anyone. i guess i thought there was more stigma against the fact that they wouldn't have a male and female figure. i guess that would pretty much be shot down because of how many single parent households there are. oh well.

so back to reviewing. the album "grand archives" is really good. i like the song "blue foam couch" or something like that. apparently its an indie album. i didn't even know i liked indie. its very kind of peaceful to me. i like it a lot. ok so i've written too much. oh well i guess.