Cross country is brutal. I love it =]
Ugh all my times seriously suck though. I hate that I'm BEHIND where I started out last fall. But at least this time I have 7 weeks of summer practice before the actual season starts. Hopefully that will help.. A LOT. Added pressure from the fact that the guy I love runs XC too. And there's no hiding in this sport. I don't want him to see me weak. It's good motivation but also makes me nervous for the end of August. I can't believe I'm a junior. And he's a senior. I don't know what I'll do with myself after he leaves. But I'm not going to think about that until next summer. *Sigh* The girls on my team are friggen phenomenal. I only hope that pushing myself hard & consistency will one day get me where they are. It's one of my only positive outlets.

I hate my job. It makes me want to gauge my eyes out with the handfuls of forks I tend to carry. Last week I was hoping one of the knives would accidentally cut me so I could go home early! I'm quitting ASAP.

The other day I was walking with my friend. She is not close minded. Or so I thought... I dunno. Anyway I don't know how we got on the subject but we were talking about my sexual orientation and she's like I don't know if bisexual-ness really exists. That really pissed me off. I asked her why she thought that. She said "I know there are gays and straights, and I think bisexuals are just confused straight people." I couldn't even think of a good argument it pissed me off so much. I mean, I didn't think I needed everyone to share my opinions. I don't WANT everyone to share my opinions. But why does she, and a lot of people, need to confine everything to these boxes, black and white? Nothing is black and white! We're all living in the grey area, whether we're practically in the white or black, or anywhere inbetween. *Sigh* I just don't like someone talking to me and saying they think I'm confused. I'm absolutely not confused. I am sexually, emotionally, spiritually, whatever elseally.. attracted to both sexes. I genuinely love a person for who they are, not whether they have a peepee or a vajayjay. I guess I ''come off'' as more into guys right now, because I'm in love with one, so it makes it hard for her to realize i like girls. But in my opinion, there is no way you can give all your [romantic] love to more than one person at one time (at one time being the key phrase.) And i love loving him. I don't need anyone else right now. He's kind of my angel, in every sense of the word.

Even though its just more boxing and naming exact labels instead of accepting the fluidness of my being, I took that test for the.. uh shit whats it called.. Kinsey Scale? I am exactly in the middle on every point.

I'm not confused. I'm pissed ^.^
But then again, she was probably stoned out of her mind..