there is, literally, NOTHING in my life that isn't overwhelming me right now. I feel like a season of Buffy... as soon as you think everything is going well, Spike tries to rape Buffy and Tara gets shot. A really high moment is evidentally just the calm before the storm.

Alright, so first, there's this girl I Like. And this part is really no biggie in the overwhelming department, but whatever. It's just like, give me an ANSWER. Blech. Whatever. It was definately going to be an "ok, so that didn't work out, moving on to the next available dyke" situation. But it's not really helping because my entire situation sucks to add to it.

A month ago, something possessed me to randomly ask out my best friend. I thought about it for about twelve hours, and then realized it wouldn't work, I wasn't attracted to her. ((http://www.oasisjournals.com/2008/04/really-rather-odd))
So last night, I get an email from her telling me that she's like... in love with me. And of course this is my fault. I led her on. Badly. And now its biting me in the ass.

Also, I think Maria pretty much hates me. So, we talked on the phone that time when she had told me she had a boyfriend ((http://www.oasisjournals.com/2008/05/and-the-phone-calls-go-marching-on))
Then I wrote her this letter like, "You know I was kind of expecting some things and it threw me that you have a boyfriend." Before she got the letter she called me to tell me she was a giant whore, and relate this GIANT drama with all these boys who like her and how she hooked up with one of them who isn't her boyfriend.
And now she's gonna get that letter. On the other hand, I'm kind of NOT caring about her drama. Is that bad?

So last night the WHOLE fucking WORLD is crashing over my head while I figure this out, and my friend Ashley started texting me about this guy Joe (Who's sweet and smart, but creepy) and how she wants to go out with him, like "I really think he likes me and I defintely like him but like, I don't know what to do." Yeah, give me a BREAK.

Anyway then without really realizing it last night I wrote this HUGE rant up and down my right arm. So basically I have to wear a hoodie all day because I look fucking emo... kind of like how I feel.

Blech. And also, why the hell is my grandmother in my HOUSE?!?!