by Blue October. good song. im mentally drained. This 'rainkissed leaves' scent from Bath & Body works is really rad. I just wanna sit here and smell it. I wish smelling was more of a social activity than eating. I'd be skinnier. =/ In English we're reading Macbeth. I actually like it. Lady Macbeth is such a good character; total creeper. Also that's Tom DeLonge's company. So every time i hear "Macbeth" I smile.

Hung out with the cute/wise freshman girl today. She's actually a mormon; I'm an athiest, so its interesting. The rules laid on her are pretty strict.. mine are pretty lax. that probably explains why she's so much more prude than me.. or maybe i'm just over the line? shit. stupid libido.

stupid testing for juniors has lead me to not seeing Boy for a couple days. It suckss. Last week on Tuesday I was supposed to go to a concert with him & some college girl he works with. But it was sold out. Her lame ass idea to buy tickets at the door -.- But at least him and I were BOTH disappointed together. I wonder if it would've been weird for his mom to pick up his ex [me] at her house. Maybe I over think things. Maybe I don't think things through enough. Ahhg. Anyway I found out he was possibly going to the concert with her when i read something he wrote on facebook. So I was pissed 'cause I didn't really want him going to a concert with some hot college girl. [understandably]. Then later he calls me and asks me to go with him. My anger and jealously completely evaporated haha. =] So even though we didn't get to go, he still wanted me to come with him! That means a lot to me. Oh! and when we were dating I went to his first concert with him! Eee i find that so cute. especially since he's older than me and I've been to a lot.

So me and my friend poked a guy at a party the other day. He got like. A DROP of soda on his hair. Barely anything. Turns around. Takes the BOTTLE of soda that he had been pouring in a cup. And dumps half of it on her and half on me. Stood in shock for an awkward couple of minutes. Then fell on the floor laughing.

Ridiculous awkward moments make my life.
I don't drink soda. The only ways I have had it in my life have both been this year:
Through Boy's mouth while making out - SO MUCH FUN i made him do it again and again ahha O=]
and Poured on my shirt, getting drenched.
I like the first way considerably better.

I miss him. I love him.
He is my favorite scent in the world.
I can think about it and the smell fills my brain.
I miss him so much.

Started writing this planning to work out some feelings/thoughts, but apparently right now I have none. Good.

"You're solar, bipolar
Panic disorder
Seems harder and harder and harder
Still you try to control it
Your brain is faulty wiring
the reason for tiring
Keep treating the curse,
Imagine the worst
Systematic, sympathetic
Quite pathetic, apologetic, paramedic
Your heart is prosthetic
I'm sick of shaking
never waking
from the hell I achieve
I never knew you till you left me
with the crying disease
Now deleted and defeated
I will stand on my own
Yeah your memory that punches me
has broken the bone "
X Amount of Words - Blue October