Comming out Trans.

11 March, 2008 - 5:27pm — trannyboi1204

Ok well im an FtM transgender and i will be comming out to my family soon seeing as i cant start treatment until they ALL know...im scared shitless because when i came out as a lesbian 2 years ago i got the shit beat out of me by my father, im scared of what they will do this time. Im the oldest of 5 and my siblings look up to me, I have a litle brother who is 3 and im TERRIFIED that if i come out my mother will throw me out and never let me see him again. My little sister doesnt want much of anything do with me as it is and the fact that im only 17 is killing me because i cant do anything i want to start my transition until im 18.....I want to get on T as fast as possible because being stuck in this fucking female body sucks ass i HATE it with a passion, there have been times where i have wanted to takes a razor and cut away what is wrong with me.

But yea this is about me wanting to come out to my family, all my friends know and support me, I have a really close friend who is more than likely going to be my GF soon who supports me and is gender neutral. I just dont know how to come out to my family, i know im expecting the worst but thats all i know to expect....can some one PLEASE help me with this, even some good words of advice would be enough to help me out because right now im tearing my hair out of my head worried.... my mother knows im trans but she is in EXTREAM denile and i mean to the point that if it gets brought up in anyway she flips out on me yelling and screaming, i wanted to tell my grandparents the other night while i was staying with them and my sister but we got into an arguement over religion and that killed it.... GYAH!!!! Great now im just ranting...oh well it makes me feel better but i just dont know what to do...... I dont live with my dad any more but im still scared he is going to hunt my ass down and kill me over this.....SOME ONE PLEASE HELP ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Discussion Forum

11 March, 2008 - 6:25pm — milee13

I hate to say it, but I

I hate to say it, but I really think you might want to wait until you're a little more stable to tell them.
I don't know where you are geographically, but at seventeen parents still have a lot of control over things like medical care and well being in most places, at least where I am, which means you could end up in a program to receive 'treatment', and while we both know that won't change you, it's potentially pretty traumatizing.

My best advice is that you wait until you're eighteen, I get that that can be a hard thing to do, and you sound pretty frustrated already, but it may be the best thing to do in your case--potential risk of bodily harm, getting thrown out, all of that worries me. At seventeen, if you're in the States, they pretty much own you legally.

You need to look out for yourself. You need to make sure that you either have a place of your own or have somewhere that you can go. I'm not saying don't come out, I'm just suggesting that you need to be smart about it and look after yourself.

11 March, 2008 - 7:26pm — trannyboi1204

Yea but...

Unless your trans yourself you really cant understand how hard it is for me to go through this, every day day after day knowing that you are physicaly fucked up and the fact that my parents cant see this hurt tremendously, i could care less about the bodily hard that will come what hurts more is knowing that they would not accept me for who i am, its not like im changing my personality, i mean ive ALWAYS been boyish ALWAYS, i hug out with the boys i acted like a boy all that the only thing that is changing is my physical appearance. Yea i am in the USA and i know they have power over me but i CAN take care of myself and it has been proven over and over again to them, im moving back to Florida in 2 months, getting my GED and getting a job along with an Apartment which i will be sharing with my best friend and her Girl Friend and my Gir Friend will possibly be joining us. i just want them to know the REAL me, not the face ive been putting on since i was little.

12 March, 2008 - 8:36pm — Ginger

have you looked into

have you looked into becoming legally emancipated from your parents? in most states you simply have to prove that you are or are able to support yourself.

12 March, 2008 - 8:38pm — trannyboi1204

Yea

Yes im trying but its only 9 more months till im 18, i just cant stand hiding myself from them thats all

12 March, 2008 - 2:57am — Inkblot

From one trans guy to another:

Much as I hate to say it, Milee has a point. There's not a lot you can do at the moment, and it is most important that you keep yourself safe. Look at it like this: yes, staying female to their perception will be painful, but if you don't keep yourself safe, you'll never get to be anything else. I know how painful it is to wait, and how much you want people to see the real you, but if you don't protect yourself, there won't be a you to be real.

Hang in there, man. It will be okay, however much it doesn't seem like it. Know that you will eventually get the chance to be the man you really are on the outside. We as transmen must earn our manhood in ways no one else has to, but it will make us stronger in the end.

Write me a line if you want someone to talk to. I support you.

Do I shock you darling?
-Sally Bowles, Cabaret

15 March, 2008 - 5:21pm — wilma wonka

If you're worried about keeping in touch

You said you were worried about your parents keeping you away from your family, well the good news is, they can't do that forever. My great-aunt was disowned from my family long before I was born because she married someone who wasn't Jewish. But somehow, my mom managed to contact her and she is now once again fully part of the family and fully accepted by latter generations. So even if your parents throw you out, they can't really keep you from seeing your siblings, it may take a while, but there's always some way to get around them. Good luck to you, I hope things get better.

"gay: cheerful and lighthearted; merry." - The American Heritage Dictionary.

15 March, 2008 - 10:38pm — Riku

I also think you might want

I also think you might want to wait until you're in a more stable situation before you come out to them. Though I do understand the want to get on T.

Well, good luck with whatever you decide to do. <3