Mom's STILL trying to force me to shave

utter_insanity's picture

Well, my mom had another huge talk with me last night. She told me that shaving is just "good grooming," and that it's just like taking a bath, using deodorant, or brushing your teeth. The heck? She said that "dirt can get caught in your hair," so I said, "Fine. I'll shave my head, then, so that no dirt gets caught in the hair there!" Of course, she rolled her eyes and ignored that.

She said that I don't want to shave my legs because I'm "lazy." Ugh. I'm not lazy, I swear I'm not! I just want to stop shaving. Why can't I do that without getting crap like this??

She told me that this wasn't an option, that I had to shave. She said that I either had to wear pants or shave, and that if I dress up in shorts to go to school, she'll just make me go back to my room and change. She also told me that she'll "come down and shave my legs for me" if I won't do it! I can't believe she actually said that!

She said I was being melodramatic. "You're supposedly a lesbian, now you're a vegetarian, and now you want to stop shaving your legs?" SUPPOSEDLY?? And I'm not a vegetarian because I'm melodramatic!

I was crying during that talk last night. Now that it's morning and I still haven't shaved, I have no idea what to say when I'm around her. "Hey, Mom, you told me to shave, but I didn't. So, what's for breakfast?" Yeah, that would go over well.

Honestly, I think the only things I can do are: just shave like she said, just wear pants all the time, or tell her that she'll have to deliver on her threat to shave my legs for me in order to get me to do it. Any other thoughts?

Comments

Lol-taire's picture

Stick to your guns my

Stick to your guns my girl.

Jesus, if leg hair is unsanitary then why don't men shave theirs? Why don't people shave their arms?

She can't make you do anything. When she brings it up, don't argue even to reason and don't get irate just stay calm and answer neutrally and leave the conversation as soon as possible. It's clearly not about the leg hair anymore. But don't let her draw you into an arguement. Disobery quietly and don't give her the satisfaction of a fight.

Either that or shave all your hair off. All of it. Including your eyebrows. Your mum should consider herself lucky- at least you didn't dye your pubes pink like my friend Lara. Your not shaving your legs is quite tame compared to that.

Toph's picture

Stand your ground and stick

Stand your ground and stick to what you want! >:D

Sure, we're telling you to disobey, but this is just STUPID of your mom. It's your body, your image, your life. Giving in will just let her know that she can control you and your body. I know it's tough, but it's not like you're forcing her to let you do drugs or drink. I guess wear the pants for awhile then go back to wearing shorts when your hair is longer and more noticeable.

I like Lol-taire's suggestion, though :D

bulldyke's picture

Yeah, sure, it's easy for us

Yeah, sure, it's easy for us to say 'stick to your guns' cause in theory, it's easy. But it's your mom, and you have to figure out if it's really worth it. This is obviously a huge issue for your mom, and you have to be certain that it's worth fighting for it.
If you think it is, keep fighting. Make her come and shave your legs, if that's what she's gonna do. Don't give in.
But if you don't want your mother to make a mountain out of a molehill, maybe some diplomacy is in order. Tell her you'll shave, but only once a week, or so. And for 'special events'. It's not perfect, but compromise never is.

So figure out what you really want. Which isn't as easy as it sounds...message me if you want a sounding board.

Good luck. Hang in there.

Bulldyke
"I can't help looking like a dyke. I put on a dress and people say 'Who's the dyke in the dress?'"

jojojo's picture

O no!

O no!
And I thought my family was giving me a hard time for not shaving...

I think you are pretty cool for resisting your mom. It probably feels more awful for you, rather than cool, ... but still.
I don't know what to advise you. I would love for you to win this battle, because you mom can't tell you what to do with your body (at least as long as you are not destroying it). Furthermore I hate that there is so much peer pressure about shaving, so I am all cheering for people who can actually resist the pressure, because the more of us there are the less difficult it gets!

Good luck!
and let us know how that battle ended...

We have all been injured, profoundly. (Donna Haraway)
I Am Out, Therefore I Am. (Okay, mostly.)